Meant To Live (In the Maddest of Worlds)
By Lorien

Disclaimer: The songs I used are Mad World by Gary Jules and Meant To Live by Switchfoot. The characters and everything else accept the plot belong to Paramount.

Author's Note: I saw First Contact a coupla weeks ago and it also got me going. Hopefully, it's good, I don't know. Haven't done this in a long time. Anywho, enjoy. Oh, and it's definitely alternate universe. Deanna and Will have died, but not without leaving a young son in Beverly and Jean-Luc's care.

===

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces

He was their son. An orphan at six years old. One of their friends had adopted him, of course, but the differences were obvious. She had hair the color of carrots, while her husband had none, and the little boy who had become their immediate family had hair the color of the earth, like his mother; and his eyes, like his father's, cold like steel, but blue like the sky.

Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere
Going nowhere

He was, however, born with a weak heart. Once long gone, now it revealed itself in the most unlikely, already tragically sad little boy in the universe. The doctor tried what she could to make him as comfortable as possible, but her best friend had been against the artificial heart she'd seen her captain live with, and so the former Chief Medical Officer knew better than to question it.

On his bad days, he was bed-ridden. He was put in no situation in which no negative or positiive emotional or physical stress could be put on his little heart, but his friends made sure he was entertained and happy with life, despite his predicament.

On his good days, he ran with the crowd, popular like his father had been, but pensive and thoughtful like his mother, preferring an ocean view to the bustling hustle of a city. Ironically, these days were what scared the doctor and her husband the most, when their son would come home with more questions than they could answer.

The tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow

Twenty years, he lived with his disorder; at eighteen, he decided with an artificial heart, going against what he knew his birth mother would've liked.

Fumbling his confidence and wondering why the world has passed him by

And now he was healthier than he had been born to be. A living miracle of modern technology.

Hoping that he's meant for more than arguments and failed attempts to fly
Fly

He was a dashingly tall young man, popular with most ladies, threatening to most men, but the end of the day found them all laughing with him, going to him in search of advice, or simply, as someone had found, long before all others, he was someone to sit with.

Comfortably, you would say your hello's, initiate a casual but signifignant conversation, and then complain about the test you were cramming for. You just wanted to sit with him, because you were thinking about him, and there he was.

I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
From people running circles

And when you find yourself at a loss for words, crying your heart out, he becomes the shoulder to lean on. You know about his parents, his formerly life-threatening heart disease, and his extreme work load which were the only immediate results of him having taken on a double major.

His mother was a counselor, having attended University of Betazed, where she met his father and fell in love with him like you think you might be falling in love with their only son. In your mind, you see him, a lonely seven-year old, his foster parents smiling and clapping, encouraging him and cheering him on to blow out the candles, telling him to make a wish.

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Wanna feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen

And you know that all he ever wanted was to see Deanna Troi and William T. Riker standing in front of him -flesh and blood- instead of the grassy knoll in which they laid in.

They died together, at least that much was accomplished. You don't doubt the faith they had to each other, but how could they have left this boy to fend for himself in a universe which men and women lived and died and breathed and laughed, quenching the explorer in them?

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher
Tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me

He became one of those explorers too; it ran in his blood and his upbringing had demanded it. His foster father, an accomplished Admiral, while his foster mother was of the same rank and stature, as she liked to remind her husband when he began to resemble more of his tumultous youth.

We were meant to live for so much more
We lost ourselves
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside

And, you love him.

His eyebrows shoot up when you tell him this, melting the silence away. His eyes are cloudy, and you begin to regret having opened your stupid mouth.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"You," he doesn't seem to be able to take in the bluntness of your statement. "Love me?"

"I do." Another quick response.

"But," He doesn't seem to understand. "Why?"

What?

"I don't know if you've noticed Diana, but I carry alot of emotional baggage around. Most girls don't go for that, in fact, it tends to drive them away." Sadly, he adds, "Rebecca dumped me for that reason."

Reaching across the table you take his hand in yours, lacing your fingers around his.

You wonder if his rough hands were an inheritance.

"I love you, Troy. Your odd name has stayed with me since we were seven years old. I love everything and everyone who makes up who you are, and that is what I love about you. Only because it's you."

He says nothing.

We want more than the world's got to offer
We want more than the world's got to offer

So you turn to leave, a miserably sour mood, it's awkwardly fungus-shaped head looming right for you.

"I have a final to study for. I'll see you later."

But something warm catches your elbow and so you turn, only to find him staring back at you, face closer than you would've expected.

"I think my parents would've liked you."

We were meant to live for so much more
We lost ourselves
We were meant to live for so much more
We lost ourselves
We were meant to live
We were meant to live

END