To The Other Side
Author: Gwen Slaughter
Email: gkslaugh@yahoo.com
Rating: PG
Codes: P/T
Disclaimer: Tom, B'Elanna and all of Voyager belong
to Paramount and Star Trek, I am just borrowing them
to have a little fun.
Notes and acknowledgements: Okay, so somehow this
became a series. Eek. Sleep would really be good
right about now. This one is a bit more serious than
the last. *shrug* Interesting how the mind works,
start in one direction… head in another. Thanks to
everyone who keeps encouraging me.
Synopsis: how to reach that next step
"To the other side"
(follows "To go through…")
She sat staring out at the rain. Watching as it stuck
to the window and slid down. Moving quickly then
slowing, almost to a stop before moving again. The
image fit her mood perfectly. Odd enough, considering
she was not one given to a tremendous amount of self
reflection, usually preferring to fight the problem
loudly while hiding the pain deep inside. She sighed,
watching as two raindrops converged on the window,
almost becoming one, before falling apart again. The
irony of that image tore at her soul.
She wasn't sure why she had come here really. It
wasn't even her program. It suited the state she was
in at the moment though. The look in Tom's eyes when
they had seen each other across the mess hall had made
her want to flee. So she had. Coward. Wouldn't her
mother love this.
She heard the holodeck door open behind her, knowing
who it was without turning. He had been forever
imprinted on her now; there was no escaping that fact.
"It's ironic isn't it," she said. "I finally figure
out what I want and now it's too late."
He sighed, realizing that she probably didn't even
know quite what she was referring to. "Well that all
depends on how badly you really want it." He said and
smiled wryly. Then he looked around.
Other than the two of them and the window the holodeck
was empty. Starkly empty he realized. Gray and white
surrounded them. Like they were within the storm that
the window with it's falling rain represented.
He wondered at the surroundings.
Glancing at him she noticed his inquisitive look.
"Rain," she said, gesturing to the window. "I figured
it was appropriate." and she shrugged.
"I see," he said, though it was clear he didn't. He
walked closer to her as she turned back to the window.
It wasn't what he expected. When he had set off in
search of B'Elanna, deciding that if nothing else they
needed to finally really talk; he had expected a fight
at the very least. Not…
"I was watching the drops on the window," she said
suddenly. "Do you notice how they seem to come
together almost, but can never quite reach that point
before falling apart again?"
"Hmmm," he said thoughtfully. "Perhaps, but isn't
there always the chance of them falling together
again?"
She shook her head and sighed. "What are you doing
here Tom?"
He looked at her intently, placing his hand on her
shoulder lightly. "Well you see," he said slowly, "I
have this really good friend who seems to be hurting
and I just figured… that maybe she could use someone
to talk to."
She shook her head again and looked back at the
window. "I don't need to talk to anyone," she said.
Her protest was weak though, and he wondered at that
too.
"Okay," he said and he felt her relax slightly under
his hand. "Don't talk to me, talk to the rain." He
gestured at the window.
"Huh?" B'Elanna looked at him as if he'd lost his
mind.
Tom grinned. "I know it sounds silly but it works.
Tell it what you need or what you want. It's certainly
not going to argue with you or protest," he said.
He smiled again and then moved off to the control
panel as she sighed.
"What I want?" she whispered, following a raindrop
down the window w/ her finger. "That's just it. It's
too complicated right now. I feel like I'm drowning.
My memories are totally confused, I'm not even sure
what is real right now."
Lost in her thoughts and watching the drops of rain as
they converged and fell apart on the window, she
almost forgot that she wasn't really alone.
"I can't stand this. Being this out of control. Out
of control then, out of control now… So out of
control I can't even imagine how I must have looked…"
she broke off.
'Beautiful,' Tom thought though he didn't voice it.
She needed to talk this out, and he needed to hear it,
even if it was a little like peeking at someone's
diary. It was a crossroads almost. They needed to
decide which direction to head in. She needed to
decide. He already had. He needed her in his life,
even if she couldn't handle anything more than
friendship.
She finally turned to face him, suddenly noticing that
he had added a couch to the room.
"I do know I don't want to lose you," she whispered.
Lost in his own thoughts he almost didn't hear her.
Yet he did.
Smiling slightly he held out his hand to her. When
she took it he pulled her down next to him on the
couch and she leaned against him wearily. Sighing he
ran his fingers lightly through her hair.
"You're not losing me," he said softly.
"I'm right here and there's no rush. It really does
depend on how much you want something and what you
need. You never know about the future. There are
always possibilities."
She turned slightly to look at him and he ran his
finger lightly down her cheek. He slowly leaned in
and kissed her; gently, tenderly, a fleeting touch.
Yet it was a promise and possibility of what could
come and that was enough for just now. Lacing their
fingers together they both turned and simply watched
the rain.
The End