The Honor In Truth
Author: Gwen Slaughter
Codes: T (P/T)
Disclaimer: Tom, B'Elanna and all of Voyager belong to
Paramount and Star Trek. I am simply borrowing them
for fun not profit.
Authors notes: This one does not fit in w/ the "No
Way Out" series. It is yet another 'moment in time'
piece. Totally Dasia's fault, um I mean; I was
inspired by her- yeah that's it. LOL A comment was
made, it got me thinking, the rest as they say is
history. It is written in first person, which is
something I haven't done before so I apologize in
advance for any mistakes. :) Hope you enjoy and as
always feedback is craved. :)
"The Honor in Truth"
I told him. I was tired of being afraid, sick of
being a coward. So I told him. I told Tom that I am
in love with him.
I thought we were dying of course. When you think of
it, that's still being a coward. The last minute
confession, ' Here's what you missed out on, sorry
it's too late now.' I knew it was. The thing of it
was though; I don't think I would have ever been able
to tell him if we hadn't been thrust into that
situation. I would always have found some excuse or I
would have managed to push him away completely. It
didn't happen that way though. I told him and he
knew. Yet we didn't die.
I haven't seen him for three days. The first of those
I spent in my quarters all day. Forced medical
restriction; the first time I had ever willingly
complied with the Doctor's orders to rest. Well, the
second really. Both for the same reason ironically
The past two days have been spent almost continuously
down in engineering trying to correct the problems
'the Borg' created for us. I was also trying to gain
back some of the respect I feel I lost due to my loss
of the warp core. Still the worst mistake ever to
have been made by a chief engineer. When I look back
on that I almost wish that I had died, almost. There
was a lot of work. Which was good because it kept me
from thinking too much. Even the one staff meeting we
had I was able to miss due to engineering duties.
Today though, I will have to see him. Today is
Tuvok's promotion luncheon. All senior staff are
highly encouraged to attend. That is Captain speak
for, 'If you are not here you had better be dying.'
There is an irony in there somewhere, I know there is.
I didn't think that I would be able to stand it.
Sitting across the table from him. I didn't know what
to expect; and three days of thinking and worrying
about it did not make it any better. I was
half-afraid that he would pity me for finally falling
Even now, I'm not sure how I am sitting here without
cringing. I can't bring myself to look over at him
directly. I left myself too wide open to his mocking
or pity. For I am sure he doesn't love me back.
I am brought back to reality by the sound of applause.
I realize that I have missed the entire presentation.
Looking up to smile politely at Tuvok, suddenly I
realize that Tom is watching me. The look he is
giving me is unfathomable. I was so sure...
I have to get out of here. I can't take this anymore.
I leave as quickly as I can, pausing to pat Tuvok on
the shoulder. As soon as I am out the doors I lean
against the bulkhead and give a sigh of relief.
Perhaps I am still a coward.
Suddenly I realize that Tom has followed me out and is
now standing with me. Too close; I can't seem to move
though; I can barely even seem to breathe.
"I realize that you suffering from oxygen deprivation.
You probably didn't mean it..."
I hear his voice as if in a dream, another reality.
Not here. He couldn't be saying this to me here,
giving me an out?
"No I meant it."
Did I say that, did I speak? Suddenly it seems that
my mouth is running ahead of my mind. My heart is
beating so fast that am barely aware that I am saying
anything at all. All I am truly aware of is how much
closer Tom is getting to me by the second. I want to
run, I need to escape this torture and yet I can't
He kissed me. It was as simple and as complicated as
that. Things have just been irrevocably changed.