Six years ago
Deanna caught Will in bed with another woman the night before their wedding.
Hurt she called off the wedding and left the
Six years after The End
Note: I know, I know...but I
*had* to write at least one story like this.
The characters belong to me...oh wait, to
Sure, leave my name on it and for all I care you throw it into the
understand that you aren't coming with me to the Titan. But you don't have to
leave." He didn't say what he had planned to; in fact he said pretty much
the opposite. But as always Deanna knew. She stood up with the elegance of a
swan and walked to a window. He wanted desperately to go to her and wrap her in
his arms, smell the sweet scent of her hair. As if she knew his thought,
she locked her dark, luminous eyes on his. Conveying her desire and love to him.
In her eyes he also saw her pain and distrust.
do." Her voice was barely a whisper, a faint reminder of her usually bright
and cheery voice. “Everything here is a reminder to what was and could've
pride, love, sadness and guilt in his heart,
he watched her shuttle move away from him. He watched
until the red lights at the back of its warp engines were no longer visible.
Things would never return to the way they once were between them,
but someday, somewhere, they'd see each other
again. And he'd be waiting for that day.
I feel sorry for Deanna." A sharp look of the Telepath in their direction
kept Picard from commenting and instead he grabbed Crusher's arm and led her out
Felisia Troi, you'd better get over here and in this dress or I'll leave you at
home tomorrow!" Almost instantly a little dark-haired and black-eyed beauty
came running into the living room.
here Mommy! I'm here! I'll promise I'll be good! Please don't leave me here
tomorrow!" Deanna smiled and swept the girl in her arms to give her a big
then, you can come. Now..." Putting her daughter on the couch Deanna
grabbed the dress that hung behind her and laid it next to the little girl.
"...Let's see if this fits." Quickly Kyleigh began to undress; not
wanting to miss the wedding that'd be on the
next day for anything in the galaxy.
must wear your dress too, Mommy!" Troi
chuckled at the child's enthusiasm and nodded her agreement as she walked to her
bedroom to get her own dress. While she dressed she watched Kyleigh struggle
with her own clothing. With her five-and-a-half years Kyleigh Felisia Troi,
usually called Lishia, was an extremely bright and cheery child and according to
Lwaxana very much like Deanna had been at that age. Deanna loved her daughter
dearly and enjoyed motherhood just as much as she always thought she would. In
her struggle with her dress, Lishia lost her
balance and landed on her behind on one of the large, furry cushions on the
couch. Chuckling, Deanna walked to her and
picked her up to put her back on her feet.
a little trouble with the dress, Little
Mommy; the holes are all in the wrong
places." The girl replied seriously. Laughing Deanna shook her head
and helped her daughter put on her dress. When
she was done, she turned her back towards the
Little One; now it's your turn to zip me up." Carefully she studied the zipper
of her mother's dress. Determined to fulfill the task up ahead. Her tiny fingers
grabbed the silver zipper and pulled it up.
Pull your belly in, I can't get your dress closed!" Deanna's eyes widened
briefly at her daughter's command, but she did as asked. With her
five-and-a-half years, Kyleigh had her mother,
grandmother, Auntie Beverly and Uncle Jean-Luc wrapped around her little finger.
incoming message from the
The young female at the helm turned around to face her Captain.
hours and thirty-seven minutes, Sir."
Nervous, Riker nodded at her and instructed
his communications officer to rely their ETA to the
for the big day, Will?" With a lopsided
grin, he regarded his CMO.
Serah smiled and squeezed his arm assuring.
could be worse fates y'know."
I know." She almost believed him, were it not for the desperate look in his
Crusher raised her hand to tap the panel in front of her, but before her hand
was even at the same level, a musical voice
came though the Commsystem and invited her in. Immediately the doors in front of
her slid apart and allowed her access into the quarters of her closest friend.
seeing the scene in front of her,
can do this Mommy! I can!” The two adults
exchanged a knowing look, and Deanna reached
behind her to squeeze her daughter’s hand.
know you can, but we’ve got to get ready; your
grandmother is expecting us soon.” Putting on
a pouting face, Kyleigh jumped of the couch
You're not wearing your dress!"
is my very right. Now let's go before your mother comes hunting for us."
The women exchanged a knowing look and each grabbed one of Kyleigh's tiny hands
in their own and headed to the door.
my, this must be my lucky day." Broadly grinning,
Jean-Luc came walking up to them. "Three beautiful ladies and they're all
mine." Defensively, Kyleigh jumped
Mommy's mine and Daddy's." Surprised,
looked down as she felt short tugs to her
skirt and looked into the large black eyes of her daughter. She wiped her tears
away and lifted the child up to hug her closely. "I'm sorry Mommy, I didn't
mean to make you sad."
alright Little One, and I'm doing better already." Giving her daughter the
most genuine smile she could manage, Deanna
hugged her again. "Why don't we go and see your grandmother? She must be
really anxious to see you in that pretty dress." The words had
barely left her mouth, when Lwaxana's voice rang through their heads.
of course I am! Come here Flower Girl and show me that beautiful dress. Oh and
Little One, I'd appreciate it if you'd teach your daughter some traditions
before the ceremony tomorrow.~ Kyleigh rolled her eyes and looked up at her
on" Deanna whispered, "Before she comes after you!" Giggling the
child left off and Troi wisely decided not to answer her mother.
hasn't told him, has she?"
she hasn't." Both watched Kyleigh as she ran towards her grandmother.
is a very beautiful child. So much like her mother."
And just as stubborn." The couple chuckled softly. When he heard
was just thinking how different Deanna's life was six years ago."
promises to be an interesting day."
it better!" Crusher accompanied her answer by a playful poke between
Picard's ribs and then grabbed his hand to drag him towards the three Troi
women. "We'd better put Deanna out her misery." It was obviously to
The Wedding 2/5
I'm glad this day's over." Deanna and Beverly walked into Deanna's
quarters. The Betazoid was carrying Kyleigh, who was almost asleep; exhausted by
the day's events. When Deanna started walking to Kyleigh's bedroom,
do it. You look just as exhausted as she does." Thanking her friend with
just a look, Deanna handed her the treasure
she was carrying and then headed for her bedroom to change. Quickly she peeled
her dress off and slid into a silk bathrobe. While walking back to her
daughter's room she pulled her thick, dark hair back into a ponytail and
Kyleigh's room, she leaned against a bulkhead
and watched as
dreams, my Angel." Watching the little
girl for a few more seconds, she eventually
turned around to follow
the same moment that Deanna let herself fall onto the couch,
Crusher returned from the replicator with a mug of hot chocolate and a
cup of tea. She handed Deanna the mug and sat down on the other end of the
all set and done for tomorrow?"
think so. And if not, we'll find out soon
enough." Smiling, Troi shook her head.
taking this so easy. If it'd be my wedding,
I'd probably be wound up tighter than Jean-Luc at the annual Admiral's
about you? How do you feel about tomorrow?"
I'm thrilled! You two are *long* overdue and I *know* the ceremony will be very
special and beautiful." But the Betazoid refused to look at her friend;
knowing she'd find the unvoiced question in those blue eyes. But
further?" Deanna sighed deeply and reluctantly raised her eyes.
further. I am nervous, scared to death and angry. I'd like to be able to predict
how we'll react to each other, but I can't. I don't know him anymore; it's been
six years since we've seen each other, or said more to each other than standard
pleasantries." Angrily, Deanna wiped the
fresh tears off her face.
haven't told him, have you?"
I tried and gods I wanted to, but I couldn't. Not back then, not now and I'm not
sure I ever can." Without saying another
stroke Troi's hair in rhythmic, soothing moves while she listened as the
Counselor finally let out the emotions she'd hidden for almost six years. For
the first time did Beverly begin to remotely understand the agony Deanna had
been through the first months after she'd left, the shock when she had find out
she was pregnant. Beverly had been in touch with her best friend at least once a
week through her pregnancy, but the distance between them --Deanna was stationed
at Earth at the time-- had put some kind of strain on their talks.
the end of the term, Deanna returned from
only had Will's betrayal robbed her of her trust in him and in love altogether,
it had also forced her to leave the only home she'd known for the past decade
and a half. Leaving her with nothing but memories of what once had been.
to be married herself,
was pulled from her thoughts when movements behind her drew her attention.
Before turning around she looked at the dark haired --and now sleeping-- beauty
in her arms. Only to find herself staring at her replica when she did turn
why aren't you a sleep yet?" Without saying a word the little girl, clad in
an ankle-length, white nightgown, walked towards them and kneeled next to the
face of her mother. She studied her features for a while and gently wiped away
the paths tears had made before she even acknowledged Crusher's presence.
does she hurt so bad?" The sorrow over her mother was clearly visible in
Kyleigh's soulful eyes, eyes so much like her mother's.
mother has some sad memories..." The Doctor diverted her gaze from child to
parent and back and let out a soft sigh. "The wedding tomorrow made her
think about that a little more." The
girl nodded her understanding and bent to kiss
her mother on her forehead. A nostalgic smile crept over
not to wake the Betazoid, she stood up and
scooped Kyleigh in her arms. "Why don't you go back to sleep as well? I do
need you to rise and shine early in the morning, Flower
Bev, calm down!" Half-smiling, Deanna
watched her best friend furiously trying to get a stubborn lock of auburn curls
to go where she wanted them to be.
you either stay put or I'm going to cut you off! You hear me?" But instead
of doing as ordered, the lock simply fell back in front of
left Crusher's side and walked to her mother. Covertly
she whispered in Deanna's ear "I think Auntie Bev is a little
nervous." Deanna stifled a laugh, "I think so too," she whispered
back. Deciding it was time to make an end to
never going to make it, I'm sure."
aisle," Crusher answered on a sigh, "we'll never make it." Deanna
barely managed to contain a chuckle. "Why wouldn't you?" she
not? Well, I'm sure some 'ship's-business' will come in between, or a medical
emergency, or new orders from Starfleet Command, or we run into a
hostile vessel, a new space anomaly..." Troi was about to cut in, but just
the empath stared at the reflection of her best friend in the mirror, but soon
she couldn't help but laugh at the bride-to-be's defeated eyes and her desperate
words. With her arms folded across her chest,
sorry...Bev, but you should hear yourself talking." Deanna was still
chuckling when she heard her daughter calling for her. "Mommy, may I have
some of those pretty colors as well?" With pleading eyes,
Kyleigh pointed at the little boxes of make-up scattered on Deanna's
wash-table. Thoughtfully, the elder Troi
looked at the make-up. "All right, because it's such a special day
today." Excited by her mother's agreement,
little Kyleigh jumped up and down.
the little girl so happy made
One, the ceremony starts in ten minutes dear.~ Deanna rolled her eyes and she
fastened the last tendril of Kyleigh's dark curls. This was only the tenth time
her mother had given her such a warning and it was becoming pretty damn
annoying. "All right Little One, you're all set and done." Thrilled
and hardly being able to wait for the ceremony to start,
Kyleigh ran to the adjoined room to get her flower petals and dress.
Troi walked over to Beverly, the latter was anxiously looking out the window,
watching the final preparations being made in Ten-Forward. Deanna sat down on
the bench next to her friend and picked up a package from a nearby shelf.
Howard Crusher," at the mentioning of her full name
bent forward and placed a tender kiss on the
The Wedding (3/5)
he is, there he is!" Both adults smiled at the enthusiasm of the child who
was pointing at the man behind the window. Kyleigh ran over to
yet, Lishia." Pouting,
the girl let go of the slender hand of her 'aunt'. Deanna's chuckle abruptly
stopped, as her eyes fell on the second man to
step onto the platform on which the ceremony would be held. Her breath halted in
her throat and her eyes remained fixed on the tall man.
was still very handsome, his eyes perhaps even
bluer than they were six years ago. His hair and beard began to get grayish and
perhaps a bit thinner. The tuxedo he was wearing enhanced his authoritative
charisma and strong features. Only now, for the first time in six years that she
actually saw him again, she realized how much she had missed him.
It took her every bit of discipline not to break down in tears. Deanna's
heartbeat accelerated suddenly as Will Riker
turned around and seemed to stare right at her. 'Don't be ridiculous Deanna, he
can't know you're here, he can't even see you.'
her friend's struggle to keep her composure,
a few seconds the Betozoid remained silent, but then her musical voice clearly
rang through the room. "Yes. Yes I can handle it." She managed a weak
smile and returned her gaze to the people already in Ten-Forward. She let their
joy and happiness wash over her senses, readying herself to face her doom.
it's time.~ Lwaxana's voice announced it was time for them to come out of their
hiding place. Troi took a deep breath and nodded in response to
Finally!" Excited to no end the little girl ran to the doors, impatiently
waiting for them to open. Just before she ran out she remembered she was
supposed to walk. With her nose up in the air she began her way to the aisle,
not once looking back to see if the two adults were following, too caught up in
her moment of glory as a flower girl.
the dumbfounded Captain, there stood another,
equally dumbfounded, captain. Only the latter's attention was fixed, not on the
bride, but on the beauty walking behind her. After his eyes had slid from,
to him, the unknown girl, to the bride
behind her, (and
eyes locked across the distance that separated them, but almost immediately
Deanna lowered her black gaze to the floor. She couldn't bring herself to look
him in the eyes, afraid for the memories and pain they'd evoke.
unwillingness to look at him called back the guilt he had felt over betraying
her in three-fold. The intensity of the love he still felt for her surprised
him. He tore his eyes away from her, noticing her discomfort under his staring
he glanced around the Lounge his eyes met the green ones of Serah Justman, his
CMO and wife since six years. Her lively eyes conveyed strength and love to him
and grateful he smiled at her. She knew practically everything about Deanna,
about their history together. He had told her nearly everything in the first
couple of months that he knew her.
had lost her husband three months before he'd become Captain of the U.S.S Titan.
Having both lost their loved ones they had found solace in each other's company,
and he realized that opening up to her was almost as easy as talking to
Deanna. Serah's always understanding eyes and the air of tranquility around her
reminded him of Deanna, and she'd told him his
boyish smile reminded her of her late husband Raya.
appearance, Deanna and Serah were quite
different. Where Deanna's features were
delicate and soft, Serah's were sharp and rather stern. Serah's green and small
eyes were almost the opposite of Deanna's large black ones. His wife was
slender, like Deanna, but she was also tall, about 5"9',
and she had shoulder length blond hair. He loved Serah with all his heart, but
both knew he was still in love with Troi.
small waving hand besides his wife caught his attention and he saw Ian Raya
waving enthusiastically at him. He smiled back, resisting the urge to wave back
to his six year old son. The boy was undoubtedly his mother's son with bright
green eyes and dark blond hair. He was tall and already broad-shouldered for his
age and extremely bright. Will, on his turn, was very
proud and enjoyed fatherhood very much.
turned is attention back on the bride, for she had nearly reached the aisle. His
eyes fell again on the little girl throwing around purple petals. She would
definitely become a very beautiful woman one day. He studied her for a while,
coming to the conclusion she’d be perhaps one or two years younger
than his own son. Her eyes were
black as coal and long dark brown curls spun down over her back. ‘Deanna must
have looked like that as a child,’ he thought wistfully. As the thought
repeated itself in his mind, he felt as if
he’d been struck by lightening. ‘Could she be Deanna’s daughter?’ He
wouldn’t be unbelievable for her to try and build a new life, but for the sake
of his male ego he hadn’t been willing to even *consider* the possibility that
she’d found happiness with someone else, even
though he had. He couldn’t bare the thought of his Imzadi lying in the arms of
another man. Making love to her husband, someone else than himself. But the
longer he looked at the little girl preceding
would her husband look like? What kind of job would he have? Was he a Starfleet
Officer as well? Was he Betazoid, like Deanna, or perhaps human like him? Or
another species? Would he love her the way he himself loved her? How would he
comfort her when she’d had a bad dream? How would he help her relax after a
tough day? Would they make love the way he and Deanna once had? All those
questions spun around in Riker’s mind as he became more and more convinced of
the little girls heritage. However, before he could think of more questions
Deanna’s musical and still so familiar voice broke his strain of thoughts. She
had taken a position between Jean-Luc and
welcome everyone today, for this special and -long- over due marriage,” He
barely heard the chuckles behind them, his gaze fixed on Deanna. Deanna,
on her turn, was very much aware of his gaze,
but for the sake of herself and her friends she ignored him best she could. “...between
two officers, well respected and well known throughout the Federation and
beyond. I’ve had the pleasure-“ Again people throughout the lounge chuckled
as Deanna’s facial expression contradicted her words and he noticed the look
of mock confusion that the bride and groom exchanged. “...to
watch Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Doctor Beverly Crusher dance around their
feelings and each other for nearly two decades.”
grinned and shook his head at Deanna’s words, but when he saw her loving smile
directed towards the couple next to her, his
heart ached. “Following an ancient Earth tradition,
the bride and groom have each made their own vows." Will suddenly found it
impossible to tear his gaze away from her face. The words she spoke became more
and more distant as his eyes traced every line and curve of her face. His mind
drifted away on memories of another lifetime and he became oblivious to the
happenings around him.
I will seal my love for you in the sacred bonding of marriage and give you this
ring as a symbol for the continuity of my
love." Jean-Luc turned towards Riker, with that movement bringing the
younger man out of his reverie just in time for him to hand the groom the wedding
ring he'd been holding. He glanced back up to Deanna, only to find her
black eyes turn way the second they met his. Inwardly sighing,
he refocussed his attention on Beverly
Crusher, who was just about to make her vow.
pledge my life to you from now onward and am confident that our mutual love will
guide us through times of anger, fear and hurt. I promise today never to leave
you and to support you where I can. Together,
I hope we'll become older and wiser than we
already are. Life is a continuous learning progress and I can't think who else
I'd rather be learning with than you. I too will today seal my love for you in
the sacred bonding of marriage and give you this ring as a symbol for the continuity
of my love."
stepped forward on cue and held out the pillow on which the golden band was
now, with the powers granted to me by all planets joined in the Federation,
pronounce you wife and husband."
bride bent forward, bringing her face closer
to that of her husband. A feeling of joy so
intense, it nearly knocked her off her feet.
It spread throughout her veins as they drew their kiss deeper and it grew
more passionately. The applause of the guests behind them faintly rang through
their minds, for both were
too occupied in their first kiss as husband and wife.
was until a small, but surprisingly clear
voice uttered one single word, "YUCK". Deanna mouth fell open in
horror, hearing the word coming out of her daughter's mouth. The crowd seated
across from her found it obviously adoring and chuckled delightedly
at the young girl's boldness. Kyleigh, on her
turn, was obviously pleased as Jean-Luc and
hereby introduce all of you to Mr. Jean-Luc Picard and his lovely wife Mrs.
Beverly Picard." For the ceremony,
Deanna watched the couple mingle amongst
the guests, this was the very first wedding ceremony she had ever conducted and
she had to admit it felt wonderful. It didn't
hurt that the couple were two of her best friends either,
of course. She smiled to herself and grabbed Kyleigh's little hand. ~Come Flower
Girl, let's dance.~ Her daughter's eyes lit up with expectation and they began
their way to the dance floor where the
newlyweds had just finished their first dance.
All the while, Deanna tried her utmost
to ignore the piercing eyes of Captain William T. Riker that seemed to follow
The Wedding (4/5)
of the guests had left, giving the Troi’s
compliments for the ceremony and asking Deanna to pass their greetings on to the
Picards, who'd long since left the room. Deanna was sitting on one of the tables
discussing the latest ship's gossip with Guinan and Katherine Pulaski. Lishia
was curled in her lap, desperately trying not to fall asleep.
few tables away, the Rikers were catching
up with Geordi and Data.
Will's son was proudly sitting on his
father's lap, determined not to fall asleep. He wasn't much more successful
than Deanna's daughter.
a beauty Deanna, she looks a lot like you." Troi looked at her little
treasure and smiled gratefully. "Yes, she
is. Though I think she needs her beauty sleep now." The two other women
grinned and they exchanged goodnight wishes.
walked across the room and stopped by the other still occupied table.
"Thank you for coming, I'm sure Bev and Jean-Luc loved it. Now, I think I'm
going to put the Flower Girl to bed." She grinned slightly as everyone
diverted their eyes to Kyleigh's sleeping form. Geordi stood up and kissed her
goodnight. Except for Will they all told her the ceremony had been beautiful and
in response she briefly locked her dark eyes on everyone possible, except for
her eyes fell on his son a dagger of pain stabbed her heart, but she managed to
keep smiling. "It looks like Lishia's not the only one who's tired."
The boy's mother grinned at her, her green eyes loving and understanding.
"It's been nice meeting you, Serah."
Deanna." The Empath sensed Will's surprise; obviously he hadn't
noticed they'd talked before. Suddenly, her
legs became weak under her body and she swayed as a sharp pain sliced through
her head. Lasting for less then a second, so short she wasn't even sure if it
had really happened.
the others saw her sway and her face contort in pain,
they jumped up and in no time,
Data and Geordi stood at her side. "You all right,
Deanna?" She nodded warily, suddenly overcome by tiredness.
"Yes, yes I just lost my balance for a second." In her arms Kyleigh
stirred slightly and turned, her sleep intruded by the happenings around her.
walk you to your quarters, all right?"
thank you Geordi." He just nodded his response and lifted Kyleigh out the
arms of her mother. She settled back against his chest, totally unaware of the
world around her. As they left Ten-Forward, Deanna
was painfully aware of Riker's piercing eyes on their backs and was surprised to
feel a pang of jealousy from him.
shrugged the feeling off and sighed of relief as
the doors closed behind her.
all right, Counselor?"
just tired, it's been a long day." Her companion nodded his understanding
and they walked the rest of the way in companiable silence.
inside her quarters, Geordi gently laid
'little Deanna' --as they had dubbed Kyleigh-- in her bed. "Thank you
Geordi," the engineer was startled by the Counselor's sudden exhausted
appearance, but managed to hide his concern
and replied to her cheerfully "Anytime
Doc." Smiling, the Betazoid shook her
head and moved to the replicator. "Can I get you something?" For a
moment he considered accepting, but then he remembered what happened earlier and
politely declined. "No, I think I'll retire for the evening, I'm pretty
tired." Troi smiled, realizing what he meant with the words and walked him
to the door. "Goodnight."
Deanna opened her eyes. Dismayed by the light they encountered,
she closed them again and turned on her belly, pressing her face in the soft
pillow. She had the day off and no matter what time it was, it was too early to
hours later she woke up again, this time by a small,
dark-haired girl who was pulling the sheets off her bed. "Mommy, Mommy
I'm hungry, can I have breakfast?" Deanna groaned and tried to pull the
sheets back, but her daughter wouldn't yield and mercilessly yanked the sheets
away. "Mommy, Mommy, can I have a
hot-chocolate?" At this Deanna couldn't help but grin. 'Definitely her
mother's daughter,' she amended.
all right then. But first give me my bathrobe,
Little One." Before she had finished, the
girl already returned with the silk purple robe and handed it to her mother.
Deanna slid in it and walked to the replicator, ordering two hot-chocolates. For
a moment, she regretted
that Lwaxana had to return to Betazed the evening before.
It had been a while since they had the opportunity to share a couple of
hours together without having to do anything. "On the other hand," she
murmured, "I doubt Jean-Luc and Bev would've managed to leave the party
earlier, had she been there."
finished their drinks, mother and daughter
started on the task of getting ready for the
day that lay ahead. After having taken a
shower herself, Deanna bathed her daughter and
dressed her in a blue dress. Together they sat down in
front of the mirror and started brushing their hair. Deanna marveled over
the softness of her daughter's hair. Kyleigh's hair was a shade lighter than her
own and each year it seemed to straighten out a bit. She was grateful that it
was nearly the only visible sign that Will Riker was her father. She recalled
how relieved she had been --and still was-- when it became clear that Kyleigh
had inherited her mother's eyes rather than her father's.
both were satisfied with their appearance,
Deanna replicated a typical Betazoid-breakfast and put it down on the table,
where mother and daughter ate while Kyleigh happily told her mother all her
adventures of the night before. How she had danced with Uncle Jean-Luc and with
Geordi and with Data and with Reg and with a boy who's name she couldn't
remember. She told her mother all about the compliments she had received from
various people and that she wanted to be a Flower Girl again sometime soon.
Deanna was pleased her daughter had enjoyed the evening and gladly listened to
young girl was just clearing the table when the door chimes went, giving her a
welcome excuse to abandon her task. The doors slid apart and revealed a tall
muscular man standing on the other side. "Hello," her cheerful welcome
brought a genuine smile to the man's face and he bent down to make it easier for
her to look at his face.
You're the Flower Girl from last night right?" Kyleigh nodded proudly.
"A wonderful job you did. Tell me, what is your name?" She looked at
him hesitantly, not sure if she could trust him. It was then that she heard her
mother's voice in her head. ~Who is it, Little
know, Mommy!" The man instantly realized
mother and daughter could communicate telepathically. Deanna had told him that
if she'd ever have a child with someone who wasn't telepathic or empathic, the
child's mental abilities would be nearly negligent. Therefore he dropped to the
conclusion she must have married a Betazoid
man, just as the Daughter of the Fifth House of Betazed is supposed to do.
her daughter's unusual reply Deanna dropped the padd she'd been reading and
walked to the main room, curious about who their visitor was. When her eyes fell
on the form in front of her daughter,
her breath held in her throat. She'd hoped she wouldn't have to face him, apparently
the powers that be didn't quite agree.
Kyleigh and the visitor were as yet unaware of Deanna, both studying each
other's face. Will noticed the small girl in front of him was nearly an exact
copy of Deanna. Onyx eyes, delicate features and a wild mane of very dark brown,
wavy hair. Her hair seemed one or two shades lighter than Deanna's and was
definitely less curly, two traits she'd probably inherited from her father.
are you here?" He smiled again and leaned slightly towards her.
wanted to talk to your mother." At his word Kyleigh spun around, suddenly
becoming aware of her mother's close proximity and her pain.
She answered resolutely. "You cause her pain, go away!" Her stance had
become rigid and the smile that had played around her lips disappeared. Confused,
Riker rose to his full height, towering above the youngest Troi. His form,
however, didn't impress her the slightest bit
and she remained standing across from him.
Deanna's quiet and almost cautious voice rang through the quarters, "it's
alright, let him in." Again Kyleigh turned to her mother, her mouth opening
to object, but as their eyes met she closed it and stepped aside. Cautiously,
Riker entered the room and let the doors close again. "Why don't you
go check on Willy?" Sensing it wasn't a simple suggestion;
Kyleigh nodded demurely and began to leave. "Oh and maybe you can give Kate
a hand, it's busy in Sickbay now that Aunt Bev is on
Little One, you worry too much. I'll be fine." ~If
I can handle Uncle Jean-Luc, surely I can handle this man.~ The girl chuckled at
her mother's joke and stepped to the doors which opened at her approach. She
exited the quarters and headed for the Turbolift as she heard her mother's voice
ring through her head again,
accompanied by an empathic hug. ~I love you.~
very pretty, she looks just like you."
Putting up a happy front, Deanna smiled and
motioned him to sit down.
a precious gift." Will marveled at the love and affection with which she
spoke, it was obvious the little girl meant the world to the woman sitting
across him. Being this close to her again brought back all the ache his heart
had endured over the years. It had been six
long years since he'd seen her in person. She hadn't been there when he took
command of the Titan and she hadn't been there at any other major event in his
life, including his wedding. And he had no one to blame but himself, for he
hadn't invited, hadn't even told her he was going to get married. Basically,
they hadn't spoken for six years and he still missed her every day.
life aboard the Titan?" 'This is ridiculous,' she said to herself.
We've got six years to catch up with and
I don't know what to say.'
been wonderful so far. We've become a close family." Inward Deanna winced
at his words. It would make her feel better to know he had been miserable as
well, but even when she probed him she encountered feelings
of mainly contentness and love, with a slight twinge of guilt, remorse and miss.
about you?" His simple question startled her even
though she'd expected it. What was she to answer?
been fine. I stayed on Earth six months then moved back to the
to hear that." For the first time since she'd known him,
an uncomfortable silence fell between her and Will, leaving her nervous and
anxious to talk.
wife is a very sweet woman...and your son is very handsome."
His eyes briefly closed to hide the regret he felt. Not that she couldn't
know feel it anyway. "You love them deeply." He swallowed
and made sure not to look in her eyes as she spoke.
yes I do. They're a god's gift." She smiled, happy he was happy, but at the
same time hating him for it.
her soft whisper of his name coaxed him to lock his eyes on hers,
and he was shocked when he found that for the first time in his life,
he couldn't read them, "why didn't you tell me when you got married?"
He swallowed harshly and she sensed him debating how to answer her.
I didn't want to press your nose in it, I
didn't want to hurt you again." She noticed how he actually believed
himself, if only she could believe him as well. Her black eyes remained fixed on
his blue ones, giving him unintentionally the opportunity to study her. Her
expression seemed blank, but the longer he looked at her the more he saw.
hurting." Knowing he could read everything in her eyes,
Deanna tried to divert them but she found she couldn't break the hold his
eyes had on her. He seemed continue his quest to find out how she was feeling,
but when he saw the pain that action itself caused her,
he dropped it and instead told her how he was feeling.
don't." Her quiet voice was meant to interrupt him, for she
had sensed what he was going to say. Only he didn't seem to hear her.
still miss you." She closed her eyes at his admission, not wanting to hear
the words she'd longed to hear. "And I--" This time Deanna rose to her
feet, creating as much physical distance between her and Will as she could. Her
movement made him hold back what he was going to say, for now.
moved to the window and fixed her gaze on the stars outside. She wrapped her
arms around herself, bracing herself for the waves of emotions she felt from
Will. It was impossible for her to ignore him, their link which only seemed to
grow stronger wouldn't let her.
recognized Troi's stance as one of hurt and turmoil and almost instinctively
moved to stand
behind her. The hairs on the back of her neck rose at his closeness. She wished
she could lean back against his broad chest. She hated him, although she still
loved and missed him. She couldn't allow him to
see what she felt. For him, she was happy and
content with her life, as she was for everyone around her, even her own
The Wedding (5/5)
truth was that Deanna Troi was miserable. She
needed Will Riker more then she was willing to admit. She needed someone to love
her and to love in return. The thought to ask Will to give their relationship
yet another try had crossed her mind numerous times
during her pregnancy and the first weeks after Kyleigh's birth. But her own
pride and hurt had kept her from doing so. And then Riker had gotten married and
not soon after his marriage his wife bore him a son; who was she to take him away
from his family?
worst part for her was that she simply
couldn't bring herself to trust someone again. She had tried to start several
relationships, but they all had failed. Her insecurity, her partner's
frustration over her uncertainty and at least a dozen other reasons, the most
important being that never, ever had she loved
someone remotely as much as she had loved Will.
then there was their link; it no longer allowed itself
to be buried or ignored, making her aware of
his presence 24/7. Not able to block him, she
felt his mood swings even when he was on the other side of the quadrant. Would
they have been together, it would've been
wonderful and solacing. Now, however,
it was sheer torture.
broke her string of thoughts by placing his hands on her shoulders. Where once
that gesture would've been made with confidence, it was now made with caution.
Her posture became even more rigid at his touch and she tightened her
grip on herself.
I still love you." If possible his words hurt her even more. Why didn't he
realize she didn't want to hear it? That she didn't want his pity or
his love anymore?! Will nervously waited for her reply, his hands still
resting on her shoulders, her luscious curls spilling over them. The sweet scent
of her had long since drifted to his nose and intoxicated him, making him
oblivious to Troi's discomfort.
no reply came he spoke again, determined to tell her everything. He needed to
tell her how he felt, for he still couldn't stop thinking about her or about
them. "If I could change anything about the past I would prevent ever
hurting you. I may be married to Serah, but my soul belongs to you,
Imzadi." Deanna moved ever so
slightly at his use of the sacred endearment. With his hands still on her
shoulders he gently but firmly forced her to turn around.
up into his pleading eyes was too much for her and just for a second she lost
her composure. "If *I* could change anything, I would never have met
you!" She almost smiled when his eyes widened slightly.
don't mean that." 'Yes, YES I DO!' she wanted to yell at him, but instead
she bent and shook her head causing her long
curls to fall forward.
no I don't." His relief washed over her, accompanied by...a sense of
arrogance? So caught up in trying to find out
exactly what she had felt from him, she didn't
notice him moving away.
hearing her name she lifted her head, "there's something about my family I
think you should know." Troi closed her eyes, wondering how Riker managed
to bring up exactly those topics she desperately wanted to avoid. "I love
them deeply." he continued, "My son’s are
a god's gift; bright, loving..." His voice trailed off as he
witnessed the first tiny teardrop making its way down her cheek. "Oh
Deanna, please don't cry. I didn't mean to...I'm sure you understand. You and
your husband must be very proud of your daughter."
noticed how he almost spit out the word 'husband'.
She was extremely glad their bond had become a one
way street, for now he couldn't feel the pain
that surged through her. For a reason she couldn’t quite comprehend she was
glad he thought she’d married someone else. Because Kyleigh looked younger
than she actually was he had dropped to the conclusion she must have married are
year or so after they split up. He believed she had been able to go on with her
life, just as she thought she would nearly six years ago. It had become clear
however that she couldn't, not then, not now and not ever again. Forever linked
with William Riker, her soulmate and in a sense her nemesis. Linked by a bond
that should've been a blessing, but became a
was about to nod in response to his remark when suddenly
a sharp pain shot through her head, so intense she could swear her head was
being split in two. Unlike the night before,
the pain wouldn't fade and seemed only to
increase. Her hands flew to her temple as if by pressing them,
she could force the pain out her head.
by the terror that suddenly etched Troi's delicate features,
Riker froze. When she fell to her knees, desperately clutching her head between
her hands, he could all but whisper her name.
But when the pain became too much for her to bear and caused the Betazoid to
faint, Will's rationale took over and he
tapped his commbadge, "Riker to Sickbay, medical emergency, Counselor
my way." For a moment he was surprised to hear Kate Pulaski's calm voice,
but then he remembered she'd fill in for
mind didn't register time passing, totally entranced by the face of the
unconscious woman who's head was resting on his thigh. The way she looked
reminded him of an image he'd once seen of Snow White, an ancient earth
fairy-tale character. The waves of ebony curls framed her face in such a way
that her skin seemed even paler than it actually was.
barely noticed the doors opening behind him and nearly jumped out his skin when
someone touched his shoulder. "What happened?"
The doctor's soft eyes were fixed on Deanna and without waiting for his
answer she knelt down, pulled out a tricorder and began scanning the unconscious
empath. "Nothing, we...we were just talking when suddenly
she...collapsed." He swallowed and looked up at the doctor with pleading
eyes. It was only when Pulaski turned around and addressed the two ensigns
behind her that he noticed they were there at all. Quickly,
they lifted Troi on the anti-grav unit they'd brought with them and left for
Sickbay, Riker following them in their wake.
inside the medical facility Kate gently, but firmly shoved Riker into her office
to keep him out of the way. Will watched the doctor and nurses tend to
Deanna and after a few minutes resigned himself to the fact there was nothing he
could do to help.
he turned around to look for a place to sit,
his eyes fell on the small child occupying the
chair behind the desk. Her eyes were closed and tears were trickling down her
young features. He regarded her for a long time in silence, not knowing what to
say or do. Suddenly she opened her eyes and immediately looked straight into
his. Before he could stop himself, he tensed.
scared of me." She stated matter-of-factly, surprising him with the ease
with which she could read him. "Why?" Why indeed? Why was he scared?
And of such a little and innocent looking girl even. But the look in her eyes
now was anything *but* innocent. He could see a flicker of hatred --or perhaps
'blame' would describe it more accurately-- in
her obsidian eyes, eyes so much like her mother's.
you're angry," he finally countered. The child's reaction was different
than he'd expected, for she confirmed his
words instantly, unlike Deanna would've done. "Yes, you hurt my
mother." The curious tone in her voice had faded and been replaced by one
of well controlled anger. It amazed him how much of Deanna he could see in this
little girl. Not only in appearance, but in behaviour as well. Tiny, often
unconsciously made, gestures like the way she tucked her hair behind her ears
and folded her hands in her lap were so
characteristic to Deanna Troi, that he could
almost make himself believe he'd actually traveled back in time and was talking
to Deanna when she was five years old.
was about to say something,
when suddenly the child's face lit up with joy. She jumped out her chair,
exclaimed “Mommy!” and before he could do as much as blink she bolted out
of the office and into Troi's room. The latter, he saw through the
window, was just waking up. Kyleigh climbed onto the chair next to the bed and
hugged her mother fiercely.
walked over to mother and daughter, but kept a distance as not to intrude upon
their reunion. "Deanna?" he queried eventually. Slowly she raised her
eyes to meet his, a brief flicker of pain in their depths. "Are you all
right?" Her eyes left his, looking at someone standing behind him.
"Yes," she murmured, "yes, I am" and smiled. Only half
believing her, Will turned around and
questioned the doctor behind him with his eyes.
you'll excuse us," she practically ordered him when passing by, not giving him
much more than an iced smile. A bit taken aback by the coldness in
You’re on honeymoon! What are you doing here?” Close to being furious at her
friend Deanna tried to sit up, but a wave of dizziness brought her down before
she managed to look at
called me in. She doesn’t have enough experience with half Betazoid/human
physiology to determine what’s going on.”
are you looking so defeated?”
I want you to listen closely to what I have to say and then give me your
what seemed like an eternity, he decided to
just step back inside and find out what happened himself, the waiting part was
killing him. But just when he took a step toward the
doors, his commbadge chirped. "Titan to
Captain Riker, sir emergency transmission from Starfleet Command." "Damnit"
he hissed under his breath. "Riker here, I'm on my way." No reply,
efficiency. The crew on the Titan may never have
achieved the sense of family he'd experienced on the
knelt down in front of the girl, his eyes filled with guilt. "Tell your mom
I'm sorry and that I hope she'll feel better real soon and that I love her. I
have to go now..."
She finished for him, her eyes even colder than before. "Erm, yes."
Extremely uncomfortable under her scrutinizing glare,
he quickly stood up and walked away.
And until he'd beamed over to his own ship,
he could feel two eyes staring holes in his back.
Mommy, I'm so glad you're home! I made you a
painting." Happily smiling, Kyleigh flew into
her mother's arms as she entered their quarters. For a moment,
Deanna was slightly confused by hearing her daughter's words in Betazoid in her
mind, but in Standard aloud, then she realized the ship's translator was still
activated out of courtesy to possible visitors. Like herself, Kyleigh could
speak Betazoid as well as Standard fluently, but when excited she tended to
speak in her maternal language.
Well show me Flower Girl." Taking her mother's hand,
Kyleigh guided her to a cloaked painting at the far end of the room. She went to
stand beside it and imitated the sound of
drums, while slowly pealing off
the sheet that covered it. In genuine awe,
Deanna stared at the painting. There were flowers
*everywhere*, dozens, or maybe even hundreds of flowers
with the most varying colours and shapes. Definitely,
her daughter's finest work up to date. Of course *all* her daughter's
painting and drawings were masterpieces, for a five year old. Pride beamed off
her small face when Deanna gave the painting a
special place at the middle of the wall.
Kyleigh was finally sleeping, Deanna skimmed through her messages. One in
particular caught her attention.
I'm sorry I had to leave without saying good-bye, but we received new orders and
had to leave immediately. I hope you're really all right and that what happened
was nothing serious. You have a beautiful daughter,
Dea. She looks so much like you, it's almost
scary. You must be very happy. I--I want you to know that I meant what I said. I
*do* still love you, Imzadi. Will."
Deanna remained staring at the screen with intense eyes and then suddenly
grabbed the nearest thing within reach and hurled it against the wall, tears
streaming down her face.
hate you, Will! I HATE YOU!!!" Having
vented her fury she collapsed on her bed and for the first time since a long
time, cried herself to sleep, allowing herself
to feel miserable about her life. Her heart
and soul were empty, Kyleigh filled part of that void and she would give her
life for her daughter. But Deanna Troi needed more and yet she knew she would
never get it, her past haunted her and often enough seemed
to asphyxiate her. But she had survived before and she would again, if only to prove
she *could* handle life without William T. Riker.
would grow up knowing who her father was, admiring him for his career and if she
wanted to, she would be free to look him up, to tell him she was his daughter.
And when that day would come, Deanna would be prepared.
She, after all, couldn't avoid Will Riker. Some day, some where they'd meet
again and she'd be prepared for it.
won't find no tears in my eyes now~
you think I'm sad that you're gone now~
you're wrong now~
you ask I'll say that I'm happy~
you that's the way I wanna be~
all those nights we shared together~
they don't mean a thing~
baby since you left me~
might think my world's been torn apart~
if you'll see me~
see nothing's broken~
broken but my heart~