Life Goes On
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek. I make no money from writing this
Deanna woke up with the feeling that she was going to regret not staying
asleep. At first she didn't remember why. Then it hit her. The anniversary
of his death. The anniversary of the day when she ceased living and instead
merely existed. The 2nd anniversary of the worst day of her life. She wished
she could just go back to bed but she knew she couldn't. She had bridge duty
at 1000 hours and it was already 0900. She forced herself to get up and get
ready. Made her rebellious stomach eat something that resembled a meal. Got
her reluctant feet to take her to the bridge. She could not make herself
smile at the people she passed in the hallway. She would plow her way
through the day but she would not be cheerful.
As she stepped onto the bridge she saw the captain and first officer
Data talking amiably. " Counselor!" Jean-Luc Picard waved her over. She came
politely and sat in her seat.
"Aye sir?" she said, although the words were not accompanied by her
" I'm not good at explaining this sort of thing. Data wants to know why
humanoids often are defensive of their home planets and tend to think that
their planet is the best one out there."
Normally she would have tried to help Data see the answer. Today seeing
him in the first officer chair was enough to make her hate him, although she
knew that to be unreasonable. " I think you and the captain will have to
puzzle that one out on your own." She informed him wearily. Data looked at
her curiously and then spoke. " Counselor, I have noticed that every year on
the date of Commander Riker's death, you act unreasonably. Is there any
reason for your actions?" Deanna didn't answer the question. Picard however,
said " Counselor, may I meet you in my ready room?" Wondering if she were
about to be chewed out Deanna answered
" Of course sir" and followed him through the door. She stood stiffly,
unsure of what was going on. She couldn't sense much because her own
feelings were so strong. In an uncharacteristic show of emotion, Jean-Luc
put his hand on her shoulder.
"Go back to your quarters Deanna. Go to sleep. Think about something that
isn't painful." To her horror, Deanna felt the tears start rolling down her
face. Blushing, she nodded and left as quickly as she could No one on the
bridge was surprised to see her leave.
She did go back to her quarters but she did not go to sleep. Instead she
pulled out a box. It had a lock but she never locked it. Opening it she took
out some of her most precious possessions. A small piece of vine from the
Jalara Jungle. A rock with a little bit of blood on the tip. A gauze
headband. And a poem. The tears came even faster as she read through it.
Will had written it so long ago in the Jalara Jungle.
I hold you close to me
Feel the breath of you, and the wonder of you
And remember a time
But only as one would remember
A bleak and distant nightmare
And you shudder against me in your sleep
Do you share the memory with me of dark times past?
And you smile
Do you share the memory of times to come?
The future holds such promise
And just as I cannot imagine how I survived the past
I cannot imagine a future
Deanna read it through, remembering the time in which it had been
written. They had both been kids then. They'd had no idea what they were
doing. Immature and inexperienced they'd made friends and became something
so much more. Over the years they'd matured and grown, but the feelings
stayed the same, even got stronger. There was so much she wished she'd said
to him. Now she would never get the chance.
"Well isn't this a heartbreaking scene!" said a voice behind her. Deanna
"Q! Get out of here! I am not going to put up with you today!" She
shouted, finding a new place to vent the emotions welling up inside her.
" Temper, temper Miss Troi. I am very disappointed with you." Q shook
his head in his annoying fashion. Deanna sighed. He would not leave until
she played whatever game he had in mind.
"What do you want Q?" she asked irritably. She didn't want to do
anything but curl up in bed and forget that the rest of the universe
" I merely wish to help, mademoiselle." Q answered, disgustingly
cheerful." I am going to give you a chance in a lifetime, and you've already
had this chance in your lifetime so you are very lucky."
"And what chance would that be?" she asked angrily. The last thing she
wanted to do was play one of Q's games.
" The chance to bring back Commander Riker." That got her attention
" w..w..what?" she stared at him stunned. Then she got her voice back. "
what exactly do you mean Q?" Q sighed dramatically.
" Ever since I became human for a little while I've had this urge to be
helpful. Dreadful isn't it?"
"More like unbelievable." Deanna answered, her voice shaky. Q shook his
head and clucked disapprovingly. " Deanna, Deanna, Deanna. I had thought
there might be hope for you. Ah, well, it appears I was incorrect. How
unusual. Until we meet again, Mademoiselle."
"No, wait!" The words were out of her mouth before she thought. Q looked
"Yes?" he asked, with a smirk in his voice that suggested he already
knew the answer. Deanna hesitated and then plunged recklessly on.
" Could you really bring Will back?" she waited breathlessly for the
" Of course" Q replied nonchalantly. " I am omnipotent you know. The
real question is whether I am willing to do so or not."
" And are you?" Deanna's voice shook with apprehension. Q smiled.
" I'm willing to do you a favor if you do me one in return." Deanna
thought he sounded rather eager to make a deal. She was willing to do
whatever Q wanted, though, to get her Imzadi back.
" What's the favor?" she asked, eyes narrowed.
" I seem to have gotten into a spot of trouble with the continuum.
Certain People think I've overstepped the bounds of my authority." Q
directed a dirty glare upwards. " Luckily, a few free thinkers stepped in on
my behalf. Since I find you mortals so fascinating I am to have a trial by
your laws instead of merely being executed. The trial is to be held in three
months. Until then my power is very limited. I cannot create worlds or bring
information instantaneously to myself. I need books on how these trials work
and I need help winning. If I am successful, I will bring your precious
Commander back to you." Deanna looked at Q, thinking quickly. She wanted to
get her Imzadi back but she knew that it would probably save countless lives
if Q were apprehended now. She decided that a more detached source would
probably be helpful.
"I would like to talk to the rest of the senior staff about this first."
She told him, pleased that her voice did not shake.
"Yes very well. Your pitiful species is unable to make any decision
without help." Q waved his hands in an irritated manner. Deanna ignored
that. As she walked out the door she turned back.
" Oh, and Q? You can look In on the meeting, but don't interfere." With
that she turned back around and coolly walked out the door.
When she came out onto the bridge the command crew was surprised to see
her. They had not expected her back that day. She ignored there stares and
rang the chime on the captain's ready room.
"Come" she heard him call. She walked in, knowing he did not expect her. "
Counselor! What can I do for you?"
" I I had a visit from Q sir." Picard half stood, surprised by her news.
" Did he harm you in any way?'
"No sir. He offered to bring Commander Riker back in return for a favor."
Picard turned pale. He slumped back into his chair.
" Oh. What favor might that be?"
" He's been put on trial by the continuum. He wants us to help him win."
Picard looked at her for a moment. Then he tapped his COM badge.
"Picard to senior staff. Meet in the debriefing room in 15 minutes." He and
the Counselor traded a glance. " Deanna" Picard started.
" I understand sir. We have to look at the fact that Q has murdered many
people." Deanna left the room. She did not want the captain to see her cry.
Deanna looked around the table at the senior staff. She still got a pang in
her heart every time the staff met because Riker's chair was empty. The
meeting started. Deanna gave every detail of the conversation in her
quarters. The staff decided to turn down Q's offer. While they wanted
Commander Riker back, they knew Q had murdered many people and could not, in
conscience, help him. As the meeting was about to end Q appeared. Instead of
his usual Star fleet Uniform he was dressed in rags.
" I beg of you, rethink your decision. Think about Commander Riker." The
senior staff had not been at all sure of their decision. Now they were even
" Sir," spoke up Deanna hesitantly, "By our own rules it would not be legal
to let anyone go to trial without knowing their rights. We could at least
give him a PADD on how the trials work."
" Yes!" Q put in, looking relieved. " By your own laws it would be wrong not
to do that much. And for that little bit of information I will give you back
Commander Riker." Picard looked at his staff and then back to Q. Then he
turned to Data.
" Mr. Data, please get together a PADD on star fleet trials."
" Aye sir." Data left the room. Immediately there was a popping noise and
Commander Riker was laying down at the front of the room. Slowly he sat up.
Then he looked around him.
" What the!" Deanna sensed how confused he was. He had every right to be.
As he stood up she let the rest of the command crew greet him first, wanting
to be sure he was real. Then she rushed to him and gave him a huge hug,
burying her face in his chest. Riker looked startled. "Deanna" Whatever he
was going to say was cut off when she gave him a passionate kiss.